Updated: Dec 26, 2018
Jewels for Caregivers was written by Helen Flynn
Chapter 2: Acceptance (Ruby)
Life does not go as planned. This situation is not what you signed on for but it is.
“Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” — The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Acceptance does not mean you are happy about the situation, but that you no longer expend energy fighting against the reality of it.
Feelings are just that— feelings. They are not fact. If you are coping with a long-term illness or disability, your feelings will run the gamete.
You may feel anger at being abandoned by a loved one or betrayed by life. Then you may feel guilty for having these feelings. You may feel helpless and try to control minutia. You may feel sadness and possibly some unexpected feelings, like enjoying freedom from a domineering spouse or a sense of worth from being needed. You may want to just run away and hide or get in your car and keep driving. These are all normal feelings. You are not going to feel kind and loving all the time. Forgive yourself often. Guilt for feelings or thoughts serves no purpose.